What is it about cultures?

What is it about cultures anyways?

Does it really matter how you eat food(with your hand or spoon),if you talk loud or quiet in public, if you throw garbage in,around the dustbin or anywhere,does punctuality matter,is it necessary to change the way you think to be able to converse effectively with a person of another culture?

I have had the opportunity of being in The Netherlands for about 2 and half years.I try to relate my experiences in dealing with the 'culture shock' or 'culture awe'.

I remember being awed at how everything was organized (traffic signals,vehicles),my first ticket for driving without a light on my bicycle (well I actually admired the policeman for directly giving a ticket,inspite of my stories),garbage not thrown everywhere,queues, privacy, clean your own mess policy(dog owners clearing their dog's poep! while on the streets).

The shock was dutch directness, my bad punctuality, my dependency on people for directions,routes etc,my unplanned nature and the volley of questions some people threw at you and made you think(especially about my faith,which on the contrary strengthened me).

I was and am still impressed and awed at how the physically challenged people live their lives in the west. Technology has changed them to the switch of a button to lower the wheelchair from the car in which they are driving and they can move around in their wheel chair and get to office. I admired a blind lady finding her way into a shop to get herself a cup of coffee following the ground directions using the sensor on her stick at a crowded Amersfoort Railway station. The confidence in which they lead their lives. Amazing!

Then what did I find missing? a touch,love,compassion... well I appreciate these people who have technology to take care of themselves and also respect the brain behind that invention however on the other hand I struggled to understand that there were several other people who committed suicide in the west whilst being in plenty because of depression,loneliness, emptiness (I definitely don't want to judge here as I try to understand the pain one would have gone through,but for the alternate we can show them)!

I remember Ravi quoting G.K.Chesterton say-"Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain,it comes from being weary of pleasure". If pleasure is so dangerous,then it has to be carefully dealt with.The Cross,keep me closer to thee!

I remember buying my first bicycle when I was 13 years old and riding it for another 3 more years before trading for a motorbike.I did not want to see it again,reason being "Even though I loved riding one for fitness purposes,I was ashamed to ride it because I thought it was meant for poor/young people". This mindset got shattered when I saw several rich/old people riding bicycle in The Netherlands,people riding a bicycle to work,shopping,carrying it on their cars... The last bicycle I had was from a missionary called Geranna Kruiswijk and she gave me the bicycle saying something like "Israel, please use this one,I am 83 years old and used it till last year but cannot use anymore as I am old".I was stunned.I started using a bicycle for work everyday about 20 kilometers. This seemed a very big distance for me but not for my dutch colleagues who were double my age and also seemed to do double my distance everyday.

They helped me buy a self repair tool kit to fix my flat tire and perform other self repairs.

Marriage is a common thing in my country and every person mostly gets married before 30.If not everyone else bothers you and asks you a proper reason for staying single(many ppl tend to get married to avoid being questioned,unfortunately).I remember pitying a fellow dutch colleague in his late 40's who was single.I reasoned out after some time that it is not mandatory to get married and you have a choice to stay single,which is usually accepted.

"I live with my girl friend and have 2 kids" is a normal thing I hear in NL.I usually do not understand it because in India if you have kids then no matter what,you are married and the girl is your wife and not a girl friend anymore. But that is not the case.

I try to understand the mindset.A culture where you personally have to search for a girl/guy and where arranged marriages(parents choices,advertising,family recommendations etc) is not a custom. Well how then you finally make sure you have got the right person. How do you know if someone doesn't want to cheat on you?Can we Trust someone?

A student in his 17,18 years learns to live independently in his own home.He learns to cook,clean,tidy his house,look after his own things and live pretty independently.He clearly chooses what his interests are and pursues them on his own.

Well 2 completely independent people trying to join together and live amicably is tough and a challenge. Well is marriage hard work? It definitely is and even more in the west !

I have many times felt much loved in The Netherlands:both at work and at church.

I did common things my colleagues did:coming to office by bicycle,trying to talk in dutch,eating the traditional broodje (bun) and cheese for lunch,with a tasty karnemelk(buttermilk,some say it tastes nasty) but I liked it.I also liked the tasty dutch delicacy `The drop`.

My neighbor alone was not happy, because no matter how hard I tried my house was messy(had kakkerlakken-cockroach problem,which the Town-hall was solving it for me).I am not comfortable writing this but wanted to know that I sincerely struggled fighting to eradicate it.

I loved being early to arrange things for the "Kids church" on sundays.I also liked helping the crew at church on weekends.I loved being with the Bible college students of Tyndale.I grew up in my faith in Christ while living in The Netherlands and so its very special for me.

Did I have a completely different opinion when I came back?

Of course,I did for all the good things.I am quite handy with the broomstick now.

I can clean and sweep with ease.I can also cook.It takes my dependance factor off.

I have bought a new bicycle which I ride for all the short and not so long distances.

What have I lost?

My relationship with other people! I prefer to be on my own. Have some privacy. Communicate less and finish things with minimum help.Participate only when I feel something is correct or opt out.I tend to talk my mind out irrespective of the situation.

Has the `individualistic` attitude crept into me? I hope its only for my good!

what I want to be?

What do I want to be? 

I have asked myself time and time again.I noticed that my thinking has changed myself for the past 2 years.Is it for the good or for the worse? Let me try to put it down in this blog.

About 4 years ago after doing my engineering in Information Technology,I was job hunting close to a year (it was peak job season in India).I applied for several companies  and attended close to 40 interviews,aptitudes of companies with all rejections my morale became very low.I noticed that each time I failed it affected my self confidence and  along with it came fear and a feeling of being inferior.... I prayed a lot for this but I knew God has a plan and purpose for his children.Since Jesus was real to me I learnt trusting God and moving on. After a long time came a breakthrough and then I noticed that i had a job which I joined on August 29 2005.I was very thankful for it because it helped me to have a chance to be confident and come out a strong man.

My job came with many challenges.We had no training and to be honest I did not have any knowledge on programming.My mind was not able to think beyond a point virtually.I worked hard but not smart. Because of my hard work I escaped at times but in reality I just spent too long to understand small concepts because my mind was not organised. It had lot of un-necssary things.I feared to speak my heart out fearing ridicule or mockery.It was very very fragile being hurt at any and every point due to the 'inferiority' in me.It often led me to being short tempered and vulnerable.This carried on for close to 2 years even after getting my job.I started thinking strongly about quitting my job or at least try to be out of the technical job that I was holding currently.

With the same project I had an opportunity to work in Holland.I remember praying during my journey to holland "Lord keep me pure or take me out of this country". I noticed that being a christian keeping oneself pure and unpolluted was something that was important for me because the others fell in place(kindness,compassion,love,patience,joy and peace).I dont know why but the more I connect with Jesus and the cross the more the world has no influence in my life.

The fear was still in me.I also noticed that being an fearful person(either to people or job or to a culture) can easily make one to fall in sin. I struggled with it for another couple of months after which I started seeing light at the end of the tunnel.I reemphasized the goal in my Life."To be christ like and to be holy." I started pouring myself to Jesus. I bought an ipod which helped me to listen songs of praise and adoration continuously and the bicycle ride on my work to office and return back became a worship ground.I felt God was leading me. I broke out and started being independent.I was free from the fear of culture,people and job. I felt divine peace and refreshed.I felt confident and organised. My thinking was more structured and was focussed.I started liking whatever I was doing.This is something that I am indebted to God ever in my life.Every time I sit down at church and want to thank this is the first thing that comes to my mind.

It is not about my job but its about being free in mind.Its about living for God.Its about fighting strongly against sin and the flesh.It is about growing and becoming more and more like Jesus.A divine peace emerges in me.I can see a big difference.I know that there is a whole battle lying ahead but i am confident that "Jesus who is in me is greater that he who is in the world".

Now what do I want to be?.These profiles have crossed my mind over time and again.

Soldier?

I admire people showing patriotism to their country,fighting against the enemy and winning for the sake of their homeland.Even though this is a difficult topic - 'violence',it makes me think about the good and evil forces in this world. Sometimes a genuine soldier fights against a so called bad soldier(who is forced into an ideology which is bad) and win.

I dont know if I can be a soldier but I know I will "stay connected with the power source" and fight against flesh and sin everyday.

Pilot?

I like the sky and how birds fly,imagining Gods beauty and splendor. Now a non living being flying.Impressive. I like to fly this equipment but I dont think I will make it as my profession but I think I can learn from a pilot "He needs to be brave,confident, should not fear (esp heights) and also connect with the Air Traffic Controls".It teaches me to have Hope,be confident and also be connected in prayer with God so He can lead me.

Software Engineer ?

I like developing softwares and writing codes and am keen on the minute details.Sometimes I am happy when it goes the right way.It makes me to think .This is what I am doing now for a living.I really love it at the moment.My weekdays are spent doing some stuff on the command line linux systems.I don't feel like I am working as I eagerly wait to do something new and different the next day.

Missionary?

Mother Teresa has been a great source of inspiration.I grew up admiring the "Brothers of St.Gabriel" who served with their exemplary educational institutions.So I admire the life of a missionary and the great things they do for God.I understand it is out of Love and a sense of gratitude that makes you stand out.

Graham stain's wife "I forgive the killers" is still powerful on her reaction to the killing of her husband.It passes about waves of Love.Will I be one? I love to be.I love to share the truth about God.I love to tell people that their lives and mind can be changed by trusting in Jesus Christ.

Now to be honest this is something I am not comfortable with.I like being a witness for christ and strive in the direction.I am open about my faith and how God changed me.

To say "God can also change you also.Trust in Jesus christ and believe in Him and you will be saved". This is something that I struggle with because it is to another person of a different worldview and sometimes it seems to disconnect people,but just think about the numerous people who have no HOPE and are longing for it.How would it be to LIGHT their lamp and bring a change.I pray God give me your wisdom and boldness.

"Help me to preach the gospel and if necessary use words" as St Fransis of Assisi said.

I wanna be,I wanna be.

Now Israel what do you want to be? 

My prayer:

God of all knowledge and wisdom, lead me and give me wisdom and help me be what You want me to be and help me to stay connected with You,the power source.Keep me pure Lord.

The cross before me and the world behind me.Amen.

Gifts and presents

Its beautiful when we get a present, something that is thoughtful.The best is when the gift is unexpected and you know for sure that the giver of the gift has completely no hidden intention while giving the gift.He doesn't want your favor for some work to be done,not a return gift from you but simply because of "LOVE".

It sometimes creates a chain reaction of "LOVE".I received a warm hug this morning which prompted me to write this blog. I also thought of mentioning some other things which people have done to me which I don't have proof of it anymore.Only thing I can do is to write it down so that I dont forget these moments.

Johan verboom walked to me at kids church to give me a hug,this was because I had come back to Holland after 2 weeks of my stay in India.He climbed a small bench where the children used to sit and while still on that gave me a hug and after some time said "We are happy you are back".

On my trip to the village on May 22,23,24 2009 where my father grew up (Ammanpuram) in Tirunelveli in south of India where my fathers parents still live,I noticed that my grand father (will be 99 years in December) had lost his memory power and eyesight.He asked me the same question several times (i) what is your name? (ii) whose son are you? (iii) where do you work? etc. Still he could not remember but asked the same questions repeatedly.I sat next to him and giving him a rub on his back was spending some time with him even though he could not understand me(Not his fault though).After sometime I walked away to grab something to eat.

After waiting for sometime, he called out for his youngest daughter who is looking after him and said "There was one person sitting next to me,I dont know who....,please ask him to come back and sit here again"

He did that many times and then I felt a deep longing "Even though we dont understand each other there is something more than knowledge and eyesight that makes a person feel cared for"

 

Szazi Bene on my prikboard on facebook sending me some encouraging words.

Geranna Kruiswijk,an old Aunty whom I knew through Crossroads blessed me before I left to India.I still remember the way she said several times "blessed" to bless me before I left to India.

Ashwin Shekher,I was searching for a job after finishing my engineering.Ashwin took me to a friend of his dad to figure out possiblities for a job.Even though it did not work out,there are several things here.I was desperate to get a job but... I did not ask him to look for me for a job,still he wanted me to come with him.This move at a desperate time was really thoughtful.

Above all,I have to mention Jesus Christ and his love which prompted me also to make difference in the lives of of others