Prayers at a moment when you know that the pendulum can swing both ways!

There is nothing better than being in the company of a person who is hurt and neglected, sick and helpless, lonely, misunderstood or dying. I happened to know that friends back in Chennai and Pune did exactly the same when I read a chain e-mail titled "Subject: Israel - in coma - needs our prayers" It was written by Infy fellowship friends in Pune and the passed on to friends in Chennai, a day after my accident. It shook me on reading the mail to an extent that my eyes became moist and heavy. It was a urgent request to pray for me. Who would have thought that I would be in such a situation when I came to Netherlands, about a year ago ?

Well its true that unexpected events do happen. But the most difficult part is to comprehend the fact that a person lives no more. I have personally witnessed a tragic accident at S.P.Koil railway station about 5 years ago, Chennai when an Infy colleague was run over by a train while crossing the tracks. The other sight was the friend of the victim, in great trauma and shouting unable to accept the possibility of loosing a friend, just a second ago. I, along with some colleagues waited for all the compartments of the train to pass by before we could have a look at the tracks for the victim. We shook our heads in disbelief as we saw the body lying scatterd. After helping the body into the stretcher of the ambulance, It hurt to think about the plight of the loved ones who would miss her.

I, as a regular train traveller then made a decision that I would never ever cross the tracks but would always use the overbridge even if the pedestrian overbridge was unsafe with dirt, filth, without lights or suspicious people. To be honest, I could not keep that promise, when later after getting off the train in Tambaram Sanatorium station, I walked a few steps to use the foot underground bridge. What I saw was a knee deep water that was stinking with filth and urine. If I wanted to keep to my promise, I would have to wade through the stinking water. I broke my promise and ended up crossing the railway tracks. It was funny as I read a warning message further, which said something like: "Please Use pedestrians footpath. Trespassers will be prosecuted". Ah, its an unreasonable warning.

In Netherlands, after a point in time(aftering being caught for driving without cycle lights), I decided to strictly follow the traffic lights to the best of my ability. Even if it was an empty road and no one is to be seen, I decided to wait for the traffic lights to show me when to move. Does strictly following traffic rules assure you of no accidents? No. On the other hand, not obeying traffic rules definitely increases the chances of an accident. After all, to err is human! Everything happens for a reason and everything works together for good to them that love God (Romans 8:28).

Its amazing to read that friends pray for me and want me to see me back to normal. I am really extremely thankful for such friends. The more longing it stirs up within me to get back home and show them that I am doing good. They are such a blessing. I noticed that the more deep it gets, to show appreciation and greatfulness to a person for an unexpected love or sympathetic attitude, mustering all the feelings and emotions within me I say "God bless you!"

'Jezus' - een roep om hulp of een vloek?

There are some difficult incidents in life that linger around in one's mind for a long time. It can sometimes be a choice in life, which you later seem to regret or an unchosen accident, which makes you feel unsecure. However trusting in God and having the assurance deep down inside that 'God knows' and 'Jesus christ has himself gone through suffering, so He understands' has made a difference to me in trusting God and it has helped me in coping with my situation.

Moreover, there are a few happenings, few seconds after my accident that stand out in my thoughts. One was the shock of experiencing the bus coming towards me and before I could react I am helplessly thrown under the bus. While under the bus, you helplessly watch the bus continuously accelerating forward and towing the already crushed cycle under its front wheels before it comes to a halt.

The other thing that stands out was my conscious reaction immediately after the bus came to a halt. It was quite interesting as I spoke to one of the employees at 'De Amersfoortse Verzekering' in Amersfoort today(which would eventually be the reason for this blog). Even though I have not worked with her, she spoke to me kindly, after recognizing that I was the person who had the accident 9 months ago. We started speaking in English before I looked for an opportunity to switch to Dutch. Within a few moments, she said that one of her family members was also in the bus and she seemed to have seen me lying under the bus. Interested further, I asked her to say more about that moment and what she felt. The next thing she told me, which was shared to her by the family member, made me stop and think.

"Hij was boos en hij kon goed vloeken in het Nederlands". (He was angry and could swear easily in dutch). This sentence may not literally be correct but boos (translated as angry) and vloeken (translated as a swear word) were mentioned exactly. I rolled my thoughts and immeditely it caught upon the conscious words I uttered "Jezus, ik kan niet tegen"(Jesus, I cannot bear this).

I told her "I did use the name Jesus but not as a swear word because I am a believer I dont swear, It was a cry for help". She immediately told me that it was made to affirm that my Dutch is good and not meant otherwise. We went to talk about different other things and finished our conversation.

I started thinking in my ride back home about how easily a stereotype can be made. Well, I thought, it was a desperte cry from within me for help in pain. Psalms 120:1 says "In my distress I cried out to God and He heard me". It was meant in that manner. I dont recollect being angry but desperate in pain and crying out to God for help in a situation that I did not expect.

Just moving away from the conversation and the incident, something that makes me sad often is the concept of swearing. 'Jezus Christus'(Jesus Christ) as a swear word is often used by a lot of people in the western world. During those times as well, the Bible says he was spit upon, beaten and rejected (Mark 15:19). But, I have heard my grandfather whisper the sweet name 'Jesus' over and over again when he was bedridden, some months before his death when I visited him. I have seen people being delivered and set free at His name. People getting healed. The name still has power and is powerful but It definitely is painful to hear it as a swear word.

P.S: Title translated in English ('Jesus' - A call for help or a swear word)