What is it about cultures anyways?
Does it really matter how you eat food(with your hand or spoon),if you talk loud or quiet in public, if you throw garbage in,around the dustbin or anywhere,does punctuality matter,is it necessary to change the way you think to be able to converse effectively with a person of another culture?
I have had the opportunity of being in The Netherlands for about 2 and half years.I try to relate my experiences in dealing with the 'culture shock' or 'culture awe'.
I remember being awed at how everything was organized (traffic signals,vehicles),my first ticket for driving without a light on my bicycle (well I actually admired the policeman for directly giving a ticket,inspite of my stories),garbage not thrown everywhere,queues, privacy, clean your own mess policy(dog owners clearing their dog's poep! while on the streets).
The shock was dutch directness, my bad punctuality, my dependency on people for directions,routes etc,my unplanned nature and the volley of questions some people threw at you and made you think(especially about my faith,which on the contrary strengthened me).
I was and am still impressed and awed at how the physically challenged people live their lives in the west. Technology has changed them to the switch of a button to lower the wheelchair from the car in which they are driving and they can move around in their wheel chair and get to office. I admired a blind lady finding her way into a shop to get herself a cup of coffee following the ground directions using the sensor on her stick at a crowded Amersfoort Railway station. The confidence in which they lead their lives. Amazing!
Then what did I find missing? a touch,love,compassion... well I appreciate these people who have technology to take care of themselves and also respect the brain behind that invention however on the other hand I struggled to understand that there were several other people who committed suicide in the west whilst being in plenty because of depression,loneliness, emptiness (I definitely don't want to judge here as I try to understand the pain one would have gone through,but for the alternate we can show them)!
I remember Ravi quoting G.K.Chesterton say-"Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain,it comes from being weary of pleasure". If pleasure is so dangerous,then it has to be carefully dealt with.The Cross,keep me closer to thee!
I remember buying my first bicycle when I was 13 years old and riding it for another 3 more years before trading for a motorbike.I did not want to see it again,reason being "Even though I loved riding one for fitness purposes,I was ashamed to ride it because I thought it was meant for poor/young people". This mindset got shattered when I saw several rich/old people riding bicycle in The Netherlands,people riding a bicycle to work,shopping,carrying it on their cars... The last bicycle I had was from a missionary called Geranna Kruiswijk and she gave me the bicycle saying something like "Israel, please use this one,I am 83 years old and used it till last year but cannot use anymore as I am old".I was stunned.I started using a bicycle for work everyday about 20 kilometers. This seemed a very big distance for me but not for my dutch colleagues who were double my age and also seemed to do double my distance everyday.
They helped me buy a self repair tool kit to fix my flat tire and perform other self repairs.
Marriage is a common thing in my country and every person mostly gets married before 30.If not everyone else bothers you and asks you a proper reason for staying single(many ppl tend to get married to avoid being questioned,unfortunately).I remember pitying a fellow dutch colleague in his late 40's who was single.I reasoned out after some time that it is not mandatory to get married and you have a choice to stay single,which is usually accepted.
"I live with my girl friend and have 2 kids" is a normal thing I hear in NL.I usually do not understand it because in India if you have kids then no matter what,you are married and the girl is your wife and not a girl friend anymore. But that is not the case.
I try to understand the mindset.A culture where you personally have to search for a girl/guy and where arranged marriages(parents choices,advertising,family recommendations etc) is not a custom. Well how then you finally make sure you have got the right person. How do you know if someone doesn't want to cheat on you?Can we Trust someone?
A student in his 17,18 years learns to live independently in his own home.He learns to cook,clean,tidy his house,look after his own things and live pretty independently.He clearly chooses what his interests are and pursues them on his own.
Well 2 completely independent people trying to join together and live amicably is tough and a challenge. Well is marriage hard work? It definitely is and even more in the west !
I have many times felt much loved in The Netherlands:both at work and at church.
I did common things my colleagues did:coming to office by bicycle,trying to talk in dutch,eating the traditional broodje (bun) and cheese for lunch,with a tasty karnemelk(buttermilk,some say it tastes nasty) but I liked it.I also liked the tasty dutch delicacy `The drop`.
My neighbor alone was not happy, because no matter how hard I tried my house was messy(had kakkerlakken-cockroach problem,which the Town-hall was solving it for me).I am not comfortable writing this but wanted to know that I sincerely struggled fighting to eradicate it.
I loved being early to arrange things for the "Kids church" on sundays.I also liked helping the crew at church on weekends.I loved being with the Bible college students of Tyndale.I grew up in my faith in Christ while living in The Netherlands and so its very special for me.
Did I have a completely different opinion when I came back?
Of course,I did for all the good things.I am quite handy with the broomstick now.
I can clean and sweep with ease.I can also cook.It takes my dependance factor off.
I have bought a new bicycle which I ride for all the short and not so long distances.
What have I lost?
My relationship with other people! I prefer to be on my own. Have some privacy. Communicate less and finish things with minimum help.Participate only when I feel something is correct or opt out.I tend to talk my mind out irrespective of the situation.
Has the `individualistic` attitude crept into me? I hope its only for my good!
