It's not my job

One thing I am proud and thankful for, during my stay in the Netherlands is that I was serving in the local church as a crew (cleaning the floor, sweeping, cleaning toilets and arranging chairs) for more than 2 years - week after week on a Saturday and also on Sunday's after the service. 

It was extremely satisfying to serve, week after week, until I left to India temporarily. The feeling was as if I was pleasing Jesus. 

 The below picture is a 15 year photo of me wearing the church "Crew" T-shirt while sitting on a wheelchair during my recovery post the accident.

 

In Tamil Nadu, we have a new chief minister who won the elections exceeding expectations. 

The social media is now flooded with images of how a street was filled with garbage earlier but after the intervention of the newly elected representative, it has been cleaned by the staff. 

Sadly, the area would become filled up with garbage again. It is not sustainable to keep highlighting the problem time and again on social media. 

"It's not my job" - It's the maid, the sweeper, the peon, the sexton and the garbage man's work. I am educated and in a higher level to do these menial work. 

Sadly I have seen even marriages end up in divorce when a girl was asked to sweep the floor and it caused immense pain to the bride's family. 

 When I moved back to India 13 years back, one of the positions I took at home was that of a "Lead Servant". The announcement was inside my family and I wanted the title and my lifestyle to match. 

Since childhood, I loved doing errands for my friends and relatives. I remember while living in Mylapore, my rich neighbours asking me while on the street if I can work in their home as a "house help". 

Growing up, I loved the poor and their professions. I was not at all ambitious since my Dad was associated only with the poor and the weaker sections and he used to help them. All I could see was their hardships.

However after I got an IT job and moved abroad for a while my thinking changed (Sorry, I started to think) and I had to bridge my childhood dream to serve and my current profession of being a software engineer. 

It started by pushing myself to being fit, using stairs, living in a non air-conditioned setting, travelling in public transport and in unreserved (general train compartments) intentionally. While travelling on trains or using public toilets, I deliberately try to clean as much as I can and endure the stench. Never to litter and carry the waste in my pocket. 

This intentional exercise shaped my character. The only family we employ full time to work with us, saw the home culture and Lokesh surprises us with his work ethic. I remember being complimented "Brother, takes all the trash to the garbage container which is 300 meters away so I should also do the same". 

I love when people working with us treat our home as their own and take care of it well. This pushes me to make the guests feel at home so we all can learn and serve together.

Honestly, if not for the IT job that I currently have, I would be a housekeeping cleaner or have a cleaning company so I can inspire others. 

This is also my heart for the society we live in - "To fall in love with doing the hard things like picking some one else's trash and not consider it as a job beneath our status". 

If only we choose our professions for the joy of working and not as a status symbol.

If only we respect each individual as God's creation and not for their socio-economic status 

If only we see God's creation in the way He intended us to see them.

John 13:14 - Jesus said

"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet"

Follow me as I follow Christ

I remember having many conversations with dad between the end of 2013 and start of 2014 before he passed away.

I would call him during the office hours and have a rant Dad, the HR at my company spoke in this way "Integrity is what you are doing when no one is watching. 

I am surprised that my secular company is speaking in a language better than the Church and I am afraid the latter would become irrelevant" "Why would people want to go to Church if the company they are going to, has a better moral culture than the Church?" 

 I lived my whole life with the awareness that Jesus is watching me 24/7 so I needed to live a life pleasing to God and did live a beautiful life amidst the scars and tears. 

 However I have seen the ugliness first hand of some church pastors and the way they are corrupt, lie, become arrogant, write letters against the church members and do everything in their power to spoil a person's life. 

 I had to give shape to my experiences if I needed to move ahead and not get stuck in my mind. 

The most painful recovery time after my Dad passing away is to wrestle with how "a so called Christian or a Pastor can be unlike Christ and worse than a unbeliever." 

 The more I gave thought to it, the answers were clear:

Instead of going to church to learn and become like Jesus and having a "born again" experience, the traditional christians were interested in having a name and position inside the church. 

This tubelight was donated by Mr X. The roof of the building was donated by Mr Y. My grandfather was a Reverend in this organization. This made them to be focussed only on worldy success and not have a life transformation. 

The other reason was going to church to play a musical instrument or stand on stage before the congregation as a choir. The songs sung by the choir are meaningful and powerful and it is good to showcase your singing talents however this is not the end goal. The end goal is to use your talents to become like Jesus and serve. 

If you want to get married or get a funeral done, you need to become a church member they say and I vehemently oppose it. You can have a funeral in this world via the church and not go to heaven. 

There is this church I am supporting by opening our place from COVID time when masks were on. I took a big risk of setting up and giving them for worship every week because I saw how much there was infighting within.

I wanted to be an example so people would see my sacrifical living and also serve. However I  get upset when I see people take advantage of you and the committe behave like a ganged up political party.

The aim is to do what is right fearlessly and not what is easy [ Colossians 3:23 ]

All these bad intentions of wanting to get name, fame and playing politics inside the church stalls the growth of an individual. There is a need for repentance and revival in the Church. The programs and events need to be prayerfully shaped for a heart change and not for a stage experience. A heart change involves a biblical humility and crying for deliverance from the inside. 

 The only reason I am a strong and convinced believer in Christ is because of my Dad. He was literally not bothered about the church commitees or to get a name in the Church. He was in the streets sharing the good news undeterred by what ever happened in his life or his children's lives. "He lived unknown and died unknown because he wanted to make Jesus Christ popular" is what I wrote about my dad 11 years back. 

He was highly spoken about on stage a couple of weeks back during my aunt's memorial service. I also wish to live that life with the motto as Paul said "Follow me as I follow Christ Jesus" 1 corinthians 11:1 which is what I meditated this morning.

Whats in it for me ?

It was a valedictory celebration for the 3 month women tailor training centre which the church helped set up in 2019 and it looked like it was a success but I heard one of the organizers say "We haven't got any credit doing this. The trainer has got all the credit so we have to discontinue" 

 When I was preparing to set up a tailoring centre by giving jobs for the differently abled women during covid 2021, my friend accompanying me during the purchase trip asked me, "You are taking time and doing so much for them. Do you think the people will be grateful for this?" 

A couple of years back, during a womens day sports event I noticed that the gifts I had sponsored for the differently abled winners were being distributed by the local M.L.A Arvind Ramesh.

I usually plan the Christmas program for the differently abled the last Friday before Christmas. For the year 2023 as well it was planned on that day and on the expected time I was on the place of the event and was stunned to see no one turn up. On calling them, they casually told me that I had planned it on the following day (Saturday) and dishonesty mentioned that I do it every year on a Saturday. There were 150 food packets ordered and it was embarrassing to call the catering company, my volunteering friends and the blind pastor that it was postponed to the next day. The blind pastor who was supposed to share the word of God advised me that it was clear I am being taken for a ride. 

 "You should start an organization, have a big banner on stage and share flyers. Then only people will know that you are behind this" He advised and I obviously wasn't interested.

 "What do you get by setting up this centre?" asked Anitha, one of the the women. I responded that I do it for "Jesus Christ" and if at all I expect a reward from Him.

Any other expectation is bound to leave you betrayed and disappointed. The answer seems simple but when you read the Bible in Matthew 25 31-46 Jesus expects us to help the hungry, thirsty, welcome foreigners, cloth the naked and visit prisoners and finally with a mention of whatever you do to the "one of the least of these" you do it unto me (Jesus).

Honestly, I have received a lot more - freedom from focusing too much on myself and being depressed, getting a healthy lifestyle by bicycling to their places and back and most importantly getting upskilled with love and compassion.

Welkom

It's never been about visiting a western country but more about meeting friends who wholeheartedly welcome me into their homes . 

Strange enough, my phone usage drops to an all time low when I am in The Netherlands. The open conversations revolve around life, faith and our well being. It moves me to visit friends and even the elderly in their 80's over a cup of coffee and conversations over dinner.

There is always something to learn during my visit - whether it is Arjen who taught me that he was supposed to be cleaning the toilets on saturday's in his mom's home since he was staying there (as his own home was under renovation) or his wife who took all the clothes from the washing machine  (including mine) and kept them neatly folded  in front of each room. Their 2+ year old son taught me on the very first day of my visit last year, that I should keep my message notification very low (mama - deze meneer heeft zijn telefoon hard op gezet) translated as this "This gentleman has kept his phone on high volume". It was a gentle reminder that I need to adapt to respect privacy, walk gently, smile and say hello to passersby.

The conversations generally revolve around practical life, struggles and how we cope up. There are friends who have had health issues over the years and it's a blessing to see them face life positively despite their limitations. Gert, for instance has been on a wheelchair for the past 8 years and his wife has been an tremendous support for him. It was a blessing to witness his emotional 25 year anniversary speech where he burst into tears and credited his wife for being his strength.

It's the small details of discomfort in cultural norms which I elaborate for them to understand which they find fascinating along with the arranged marriage, the joint family structure or our culinary food habits.

Relationships blossom over a period of time and deepen rust. The friendships are held very dear and never taken for granted. I find it difficult to keep in touch with friends in Netherlands since I am busy at work, my different abled project and the Hindi church but I do treasure great memories of love expressed in action. 

When I told my host family Nagtegaal where I would be staying that I am visiting them this year end, the response was a beautiful "welkom". 

My accident story adds emotions to  the visit. Since I was taken care by them during my accident with great love, I take additional care of myself both in my character and life to show that I am doing well and that their effort invested in me have not gone in vain. 

If such is the joy of showing yourself to your friends, how much more the joy of longing to hear the words of Jesus, if he finds us victorious in this worldly life and to hear the words - "Well done thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee a ruler over many things: enter into the joy of the lord" Matthew 25:23 and to embrace his welcome.

The sail

About 4 years back, during covid, unvaccinated by dodging the system who wanted to inject me, I set out to the most populous slum displacement housing board of Kannagi nagar to give some work for the differently abled. 

The vision was  purely to help set up a livelihood for them. I was scared - would they accept me or would they end up beating me up ? It is usual to see a lot of fights and screaming in the neighbourhood. Along with a friend, Manvannan we set up the first centre which we rented there - no opening ceremony, no advertisements and with no one knowing about our work (one sewing machine which I bought online which eventually broke down) 

I decided to ride my bicycle daily to the centre since I don't own a motorbike and that brought in a lot of curious onlookers and people  linked me always with the bicycle. 

This Monday, a middle aged women enquired - "Pastor, you used to come in your bicyle to the centre but I don't see you anymore". Some of the women call me a Pastor but I don't pay much attention to it. 

Many people think that I dont have a corporate job too (who wouldn't if you ride a bicyle every where and look crazy that people tend to think you don't have money for petrol)

However this lifestyle helped me to get inroads to serve the people better. 

I was called up last Tuesday to help the differently abled give the jute project demo to another NGO but I politely refused since I am focussed day and night on this big jute bag order. It's heartening to know that many NGO's are amazed about how this project is running. The rotary leadership who were very active in the area even before I came in, told me once that I wouldn't be able to sustain this project for more than a year. But God is helping me thus far.

I was reminded to keep sailing ⛵️ even though the sea 🌊 is rough. That helped to be still on track even through the disappointment. I was able to give 600 bags for printing to another differently abled organization who contacted me this week. The idea is to make the differently abled get as much work as possible and give the remaining work to be commercially completed.

I had to pack the fabric in big bags and deliver them for stitching which also meant that I had to unfortunately deliver the bags by car on the way to office.

The car was smelling paint and how I disliked driving 🚗 in Chennai traffic. Oh how I missed my bicycle.

Galatians 6:9

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

The disappointment

I love to sweat no doubt, whether it is on the way to office or while screen printing on jute. The former is because I need to grind with the bicycle in the sun and the latter is because I need to switch off the fan to avoid the paint getting dry and unusable. The bicycle sweat is for my physical and mental health and the screen print sweat is to give work to the differently abled.

The 10,000 bag project makes me work until 2 AM in the mornings on a Saturday and Sunday however today was a bitter realization that we will not be able to complete the project on time and would need to invoke a commercial organization to complete the pending work.

As I am pondering on what went wrong, I want to be first thankful for what went right. The women who dint have any job until back, got an opportunity to work on a big project albeit in a slow pace 🐌. It was joyful to see them working on the machine when I visited them. It was a strong reminder that they can take up work and be skilled in stitching.

About 10 days back when I went to visit them I saw a big banner that they are making jute bags which was having names of their differently abled organization along with different jute bag pictures welcoming delegates. It appeared to be that they were receiving a visitor from another nation along with the director of an NGO. When I saw it, they privately acknowledged that I had helped set up this jute making project, however I felt that they were being set up for people to see, applaud and donate. I wanted their full dedication to be focussed on finishing this project or at least give their very best which appeared lacking. 

Before we got the project sadly there was infighting between the women and each one was claiming responsiblity for getting the project leading to a lack of cooperation within the team. It was sad that I had to intervene at times and make peace.

The NGO's mainly focus on taking pictures with them and in return give donations in terms of infrastructures, wheelchairs, sewing machines or groceries. I got the idea of using their sewing machines (which otherwise remains unused) and rusted to make the jute bags. However asking me for donations in between the project makes me sad, since my focus is on wanting them to be dedicated to complete the project and use the salary that comes with making the bags. I restrict my giving only for medical emergencies during this period but there is a cultural problem here when you give someone for an emergency and another person feels entitled to the same amount from you without any concern for the giver. There are other occasions like christmas where I joyfully get them clothes.

As I move on, I think of the parable of talents (Matthew 25: 14-30) where Jesus gave one 5 and another 2 and the last person, 1 talent. The expectation was for each one to multiply their God given talents. If it is not multiplied, God is OK to take the talent of the person who hasn't multiplied and give it to the person who has multiplied their talents.

Irrespective of our limitations and our weakness, God expects us to have faith in Hin and keep pushing amidst pain, amidst temptations, amidst poverty and amidst disability. I wrote this on my 50 km bicyle ride this evening and was happy to see Annai stores have my jute bags sold out. It was another happy reminder to keep pushing. 

Mocking hatred with forgiveness

 About a year back, I accidentally stumbled upon a video of Charlie Kirk when he was sharing the table with Vivek Ramasamy answering questions from college students. I was then following more of Vivek's acceptance in conservative circles so Charlie was not my focus. Since then, I had watched many of Charlie's clips in the course of time.

However it breaks my heart that a young life of 31 years was taken away by a reckless youngster much younger than him who was provoked because of the truth he spoke.

Following the news online, I am in awe of  how the American conservatives are having their focus more and more on remembering Charlie Kirk and celebrating his life by sharing memories, supporting his wife and kids and sharing stories of how he impacted many lives while not being with vengence on the perpetrator of the crime. 

The last time I heard Charlie speak, was about 3 weeks back when the video involved him responding to a question with answers from both biblical and political point of view. There was a need to defend politicians who were ungoldy. Since you are on the same platform defending the most Holy God, Jesus, it pained me to see a politician being defended and spoken of highly on the same platform. Honestly I wasn't happy because there was mocking and name-calling involved. The only popular preacher ( I know of ) who stuck to his position of refusing to get involved in politics was John Piper and sadly he was unpopular because of that. 

It's not courageous to mock even sin - The bible cautiously asks us to "Flee youthful lusts - 2 Timothy 2:22" and not to mock a person in adultery ( ex astronomer CEO incident). The incident is a caution that any sin in private would be exposed in public if not dealt swiftly.

The saddest part in all this is to read people celebrating death and knowing the human heart, I anticipated it ever since his news of passing away came up. Technology for once is dangerous because a point of view once uttered in a stage of life is made viral post humously. We all have points of view which we change over a period of time and also when we mature with age. 

One of the lessons I learnt earlier in life is to ignore people whom I strongly disagree with and not take up ammunition to attack them or wish for their downfall. 

The approach of Jesus as having all authority in heaven and on earth and yet the most humble man humanity has ever seen knew the heart of man was wicked yet he sacrificed his life and won hatred.

 

May forgiveness to the killer be focussed amid the outrage. May the people who rejoice in a tragedy be reminded to repent and believe in the truth of Jesus who gives true freedom.