What is it about forgiveness?

Gladys Staines is a person, whom I follow closely. I hardly knew her until a moment 12 years back, on 22nd January 1999 when I read the headlines of a newspaper with the title "I forgive the killers!". This statement came at a moment when her husband and two little children were burnt alive whilst sleeping in his station wagon in a shocking and devastating incident

The thought of forgiveness however is not new to me. What do you hear every year in a 3 hour long good friday service in Chennai? Its forgiveness in the first place. Its one of the 7 statements that Jesus made on the cross "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34. However Gladys choose to do it and not just be satisfied hearing it.

When some reporters asked her how she found it in herself to forgive the killer, she replied Jesus Christ had forgiven my crimes and He also commands us to forgive each other. It was a spontaneous thing. It wasn't something I had to work up, It just came. Courtesy OutlookIndia.

Well to be honest, the forgiveness of Gladys staines was lingering in my thoughts for a long time. Its something I wanted to do as well. But on the other hand, there were sometimes I had to ask other people's forgiveness. It was because I had hurt them or I had wrongly judged other people. Many times I (still) ask forgiveness to God in prayer.

When I came out of my coma 2 days after the accident in the ICU, seeing my legs fixed to an iron apparatus and all the tubes and the drains in my legs I thought I could never ever walk in my life and would be confined to a wheelchair. Its quite interesting to note that even at that time "I forgive" was the first thing that came into my mind on my reaction to my accident. It was indeed a spontaneous thing. I was quite happy that I was able to show that when the bus owner came to meet me and gave him a 'Bible', where forgiveness is shown to be handed over to the bus driver. Its one of the beautiful qualities that I am thankful to God for. Having said this I am also thankful to God that at this moment I can walk fast and also jog a small distance .

Exactly 12 years after the incident, Gladys says "I hold no bitterness towards killers." It is remarkable. Honestly it involves a lot of tears, in the background. Patience and forgiveness is needed everyday. Forgivess is amidst the pain, crying and wrestling inside, you give love in return. When there is no bitterness but love, it helps personally as well. It has helped me recover faster from the tragedy!

Who is to blame ?

Life after a Trauma has taught me to relate with everything related to justice and pain in a better way. One of the important things I do is try to put if's and if not's to the situation I have experienced and try to get answers out of them. It helps me be greatful and thankful on the positive side and know that on the other side there are people who have had not been lucky like me. It gives me a perspective about the unlucky side and at least force myself to get into action to do any kind of help. Of course, these are heavy incidents but it can definitely be a learning experience. If its true that "Loved people love other people" and "Hurt people hurt other people"then definitely "Helped people will help other people".

What about help?

I was diverted from looking at a video on facebook and further browsing on to a video about a Sub Inspector of Police, Tirunelveli, Tamil Nadu who was killed in an brutal incident early January last year when gangsters attacked him. The incident took place when two elected leaders of the state were going in a convoy. The video showed two things which caught my eye. One was the police man desperately crying for help and bleeding, when no one(including the minsiters) dared to come in and help with several people still sitting in their cars. The second was a man trying to give water from a bottle to the dying man standing at a distance fearing he may touch him. It

Ah I thought, I was also in a similar but less severe situation about 7 months ago. One of the Police investigators said that they have taken pictures of the accident and it was a horrible sight where I was. However there was a lady at the accident site who helped me, spoke with me and not at a distance fearing she may be contaminated. There was a person who called the ambulance immediately and there were doctors who immediately helped me.

The first few minutes after the trauma are important and people being helped immediately or being given access to medical help can be saved.

Even though I believe God gives life (Gen 1:26) and sustains it, He also uses people to practically help on the way. If I think about the unlucky incident I read, the learning could be to have compassion on those people and try to understand and move forward to help.

What about justice?

On a particular saturday afternoon I recieved a letter from my lawyer stating a claim from the bus driver "He got several signals from other cyclists to go ahead and thus he went ahead resulting in the fact that I was run over. In other words, there were fellow cyclists that were waiting for the bus to passby and I was the person who ignored and did not stop". I was shocked and it was a devastating feeling. Till that point everyone, including bus owner said that it was the fault of the Bus. I started rolling my thoughts to the day of the incident in my mind to check if there was any slight indication of the possibility of cyclists waiting. "I could clearly see myself in the cycle and the bus waiting at the side, and it was normal I thought because I had voorrang and to strengthen my feeling there were also 2 cyclists coming from the other direction but there was no cyclist waiting on my side or the other". Whose version can be true, I thought and thought. Finally I wrote a persuasive reply for the letter recieved and I just calmed myself down.

In a couple of weeks, surprisingly I met a unknown vistor in the Physiotherapy changing room. He seemed to know me and immediately started a conversation.

"Hey! were you the one under the bus in Amersfoort", the person asked.

"Yes" "How do you know that ?" I said

"I am the investigator from the Police side who investigated your case."

"What brings you here" I asked

"I have a smal knee problem" he replied

"Oh, thats a pity" I said

"Dont worry, Its much smaller than yours. By the way, what about your case?"

"Well, Its going on but the bus driver claims that cyclists were waiting when the accident happened" I said

"No, there were no cyclists waiting. You had voorrang and it was clear from the video of the bus that it was a careless mistake from the bus driver's part"

"We have given it in writing long ago and I am surprised that it still is not solved. Please keep me updated about it" He said

I immediately thanked him and it was a huge sigh of relief. Well, in my case the bus video was a witness but it just made me think about the various unsolved/unjudged cases in various parts of the world. Where will they get their justice?

2 Corinthians 5:10 says " For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Jesus Christ, that each of us may recieve what is due us, for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad"