The disappointment

I love to sweat no doubt, whether it is on the way to office or while screen printing on jute. The former is because I need to grind with the bicycle in the sun and the latter is because I need to switch off the fan to avoid the paint getting dry and unusable. The bicycle sweat is for my physical and mental health and the screen print sweat is to give work to the differently abled.

The 10,000 bag project makes me work until 2 AM in the mornings on a Saturday and Sunday however today was a bitter realization that we will not be able to complete the project on time and would need to invoke a commercial organization to complete the pending work.

As I am pondering on what went wrong, I want to be first thankful for what went right. The women who dint have any job until back, got an opportunity to work on a big project albeit in a slow pace 🐌. It was joyful to see them working on the machine when I visited them. It was a strong reminder that they can take up work and be skilled in stitching.

About 10 days back when I went to visit them I saw a big banner that they are making jute bags which was having names of their differently abled organization along with different jute bag pictures welcoming delegates. It appeared to be that they were receiving a visitor from another nation along with the director of an NGO. When I saw it, they privately acknowledged that I had helped set up this jute making project, however I felt that they were being set up for people to see, applaud and donate. I wanted their full dedication to be focussed on finishing this project or at least give their very best which appeared lacking. 

Before we got the project sadly there was infighting between the women and each one was claiming responsiblity for getting the project leading to a lack of cooperation within the team. It was sad that I had to intervene at times and make peace.

The NGO's mainly focus on taking pictures with them and in return give donations in terms of infrastructures, wheelchairs, sewing machines or groceries. I got the idea of using their sewing machines (which otherwise remains unused) and rusted to make the jute bags. However asking me for donations in between the project makes me sad, since my focus is on wanting them to be dedicated to complete the project and use the salary that comes with making the bags. I restrict my giving only for medical emergencies during this period but there is a cultural problem here when you give someone for an emergency and another person feels entitled to the same amount from you without any concern for the giver. There are other occasions like christmas where I joyfully get them clothes.

As I move on, I think of the parable of talents (Matthew 25: 14-30) where Jesus gave one 5 and another 2 and the last person, 1 talent. The expectation was for each one to multiply their God given talents. If it is not multiplied, God is OK to take the talent of the person who hasn't multiplied and give it to the person who has multiplied their talents.

Irrespective of our limitations and our weakness, God expects us to have faith in Hin and keep pushing amidst pain, amidst temptations, amidst poverty and amidst disability. I wrote this on my 50 km bicyle ride this evening and was happy to see Annai stores have my jute bags sold out. It was another happy reminder to keep pushing.